Requisite Animal Photo

This here's The Scrumpy Chicken. Technically, his name is Antimony. (I co-adopted him with an engineer and if that doesn't explain everything, how much time have you spent around engineers?) I suppose his photo is relevant here because he is a little nuts. Looking extremely confused and chasing things that don't exist are among his favorite pastimes.

Anyway. On to the real food. I made a double batch of these guys in DC over Christmas to hand out to friends and I could barely get them out of the house because my family kept chowing down on them. They have that sweet-salty-spicy thing that makes you want to just keep putting more in your mouth:

Chipotle-Rosemary Roasted Nuts

Vegetable oil
3 cups whole roasted unsalted cashews (14 ounces)
2 cups whole walnut halves (7 ounces)
2 cups whole pecan halves (7 ounces)
1/2 cup whole almonds (3 ounces)
1⁄3 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice
2 teaspoons ground chipotle powder
4 tablespoons minced fresh rosemary leaves, divided
Kosher salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Brush a sheet pan generously with vegetable oil, or for much more convenient cleanup, line it with a sheet of parchment paper. Combine the nuts, 2 tablespoons of oil, the maple syrup, brown sugar, orange juice, and chipotle powder on the sheet pan. I actually stuck to the recipe here for once, but I think any mix of nuts that you prefer/have on have of equivalent volume would be fine. Toss to coat the nuts evenly. Add 2 tablespoons of the rosemary and 2 teaspoons of salt and toss again.

Spread the nuts in one layer (for me this took two baking sheets). Roast the nuts for 25 minutes, stirring twice with a large metal spatula, until the nuts are glazed and golden brown. Keep a close eye - they go from perfect to burnt really fast around this point. When they're done, they will still be very sticky - the coating will harden as it cools. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with 2 more teaspoons of salt and the remaining 2 tablespoons of rosemary.

Toss well and set aside at room temperature, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking as they cool (this is very important, or you will have giant blocks of nuts). Taste for seasoning. Serve warm or cool completely and store in airtight containers at room temperature. Recipe from the internet, which apparently adapted it from Ina Garten. Happy munching.

Butter as a Means to Shamayim

Elana, I dedicate this, my first post on the 509 foodie blog, to you. I ask you to a conjure memory from our often painful, often smile-worthy teenage years and recall waking up on a Sunday morning at the Rayner Ranch to the smell of frying bacon and Dutch babies. No, the latter item does not refer to offspring of people from the Netherlands. Gross. Or maybe good, I don't have experience with it. Dutch babies refer to a light popover pancake whose batter puffs up into a golden mountain range with a delicate, crusty edge that rises above the cake pan.

While we usually had Papa Pete to thank for the awkwardness of cooking bacon for a Jewish girl, we had Mamma Linda, otherwise known as "Marge", to thank for those thin pancakes called Dutch babies, those vessels for melted butter, fresh squeezed lemon juice and powdered sugar, those little pieces of heaven.

Judging by previous posts, pictures of animals are a requisite for this blog. So I introduce everyone to my fat cat, Sundance. We often call him "Fatty," with the most endearing of intentions, of course. Rob and I believe Sundance has discovered the fast-track to the third, if not fourth layer of heaven, judging by the level of joy and enlightenment he exudes. We believe Sundance's trick is in the butter. The cat loves to eat, and he is damn good at it. He also likes sleeping, dangerously warm places, and eating while in dangerously warm places.

So maybe my cat photo and recipe have something in common: heaven.

--

Dutch Babies

2 TB butter

2 large eggs (room temperature preferably)

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup milk

1 pinch salt

Lemon wedges

Powdered sugar

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease a 9 inch cake pan with butter (Linda typically used Crisco), and don't be shy about it. Place greased pan in the over for a minute until the grease melts.

2. Beat eggs slightly in a bowl with wire whisk. Beat in flour, milk and salt until just mixed (beat gingerly or theses babies lose their puff). Pour a ladle-full of batter into the warmed pan and return to the oven for 15-20 minutes or until sufficiently puffy and golden brown.

3. Serve hot off the press so as to enjoy optimal puffiness. The classic Rayner topping tradition includes fresh squeezed lemon juice and powdered sugar.

--

By the way, Elana, you said this is an exclusive invite-only blog, yes? Why has Beyonce not posted yet? I want to know what she eats to get that fabulous ass. I bet there is butter involved.

Soup and Bonus

Happy winter!!!

Well, we're finally seeing some snow here in the Emerald City and as a tribute, I've decided to make something from another part of the world that falls to pieces when they are coated with but an inch of "the white stuff".

We weasled this recipe out of Walter, the insane Italian who ran the shishi restaurant I worked at after college. He was truly a piece of work. He would rush through the restaurant, gesticulating wildly and ordering people to bring "VIP" glasses and dishes when anyone "VIP" came in. He would say to these "VIP"s things like (go for your most stereotypical Italian accents here), "Oh, you are my brother! We have fresh figs for you my brother! And special fish - no no! For this you do not have parmesan cheese, it is fish!! Kate! We need 14 new place settings for these people, they are the best people! Hurry!"

Needless to say, I did not last long in that environment. Fortunately, my father, though not quite a "VIP", enjoyed a certain level of respect from Walter, so we snagged this recipe and haven't stopped making it since. He may have been nuts, but he made really excellent food.

Warning: the copy of this recipe I have was written by my mother, so the measurements are, shall we say, rough. That's ok. It's a rustic soup, enjoyed by rustic people, so just guesstimate your little hearts out.

Tuscan Bean Soup

2 small cottage cheese containers dried cannellini beans (aka white kidney beans)

2 HEADS garlic*

1 1/2 onions

1 teacup (?) olive oil

Bunch of sage

Bunch of rosemary

Soak beans overnight. In the morning, discard the water. Add garlic, one whole onion, sage, and beans to fresh water. Cover with olive oil. Cook 4 hours on medium heat until soft. Take out onion and sage (should still be whole-ish...These can actually be blended to make a nice spread, rather than just chucking them.)

Mash beans by hand or in blender. Return to broth. Sautee some more onion with rosemary in oil. Add to the soup.

When serving, add a drizzle of truffle oil. Or not.

* BONUS: two whole heads of garlic are a pain in the ass. Luckily, I found out about this. It really works!!! Proof:

Before..... ...After

Amazing!

Enjoy.

The Best Part of the Meal

It has been long overdue and you all are about to experience my first attempt at BLOGGING. AHHH!!!! Good, I can already check off "using all caps for one word" and "continuous exclamation points" from the "must do on a blog" list. Well, I haven't created an incredible meal for this post. Instead, this is a tribute to our good friend - the wine bottle. Actually, I am going to write about the by-product of the wine bottle.

Being a bit of a recycling nerd, I have been keeping bottle caps and wine corks for a few blue moons. Well, I came across a good use for those corks that doesn't require a large inventory and very minimal supplies.

A Hot Pan Mat

Supplies:

1 - Wine corks (wood cork or artificial)

2 - Picture frame (size dependent upon the amount of available corks)

3 - Several 2 inch screws and electric screw driver

4 - Hot glue gun and glue sticks or super glue

Instructions:

1 - Find a picture frame that you don't want to use for pictures anymore.

2 - Line the sides of the frame with corks so you know how many corks to screw together.

3 - Fill the inside of the picture frame with as many corks as you can smoosh together. Yes, I can also check "use the word smoosh" off of the list.

4 - Screw together the corks, leaving the head of the screws on the visible sides of the hot mat.

5 - Using your glue gun or super glue, attach the corks connected with screws to the top perimeter of the picture frame.

6 - Grab a cooking pan and place it on the stove top with the heat on high.

7 - Once the pan is super hot, place it on your new hot pad so you an enjoy your newest creation.

One last thing that I have to add to this blog post.....